Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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