didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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