i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize