so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
