at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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