i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
