Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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