i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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