i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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