Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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