dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
cat food counts as protein by the way
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
