When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
