Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
