If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize