He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
