the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
