Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
