why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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