For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
