i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
