Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
