You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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