im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
