I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
