Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize