I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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