Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
