One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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