Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
