i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
