all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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