Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Still dying that you shit outside
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize