Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize