all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize