I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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