Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
