I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
