remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
