i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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