last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
is that a dick in a sweater?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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