it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
