hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
