I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
