I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
