I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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