scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
