Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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