so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
