I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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