So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
