What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize