I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
