i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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