I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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