Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
