the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Acid is not a monday night drug
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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