I heard we made out
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
