everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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