fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
