I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you inspire me to be a worse person
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
