how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
