I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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