So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
