He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Holy shit dude........stairs
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
