who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize