Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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