I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
how drunk are you?
Several
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
