What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
