I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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