I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
