people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
